bad day

Oh my what a bad day.

Mother's Day 2011

i missed you so much
everything is so weird
sister was here
and spent all weekend with us
she gave me chocolates and a hair clip!
we kept busy with dad
brother was out of town
he called me and had beautiful words for me!

we planted another bleeding heart plant
because last year's went to flower heaven
we also planted columbines
and dad wanted to get the japanese weeping tree
it's beautiful

i love you my son

21 years old

that's all

mother's day

oh god can this get any worse

why does there have to be a mother's day anyway

Grief Scriptures

Proverbs 14:13

Even in laughter the heart may ache,
and joy may end in grief.

Foundation. God is Why.

I feel like I need to first put here a foundation. Whether I have any readers or post-ers, I want to welcome you.

I am a believer in the triune God. Jesus Christ is the Truth, the Life and the Way. He is not just A way to the Father, He is the Only Way. My words are not going to be 100% accurate, but His Word is Absolutely True and Accurate. I am uncompromising on these issues and do not want to stand my ground here, but am willing to help anyone genuinely wanting to understand any truth that I know. I'm not wanting anyone's feelings to be hurt, and at the same time not here to flatter anyone. I consecrate this to Him and invite His Holy Spirit to comfort, speak, heal and whatever He wants... and pray a covering over all everything. I am solid on these issues, uncompromising.

I am in grief. Last year my 19 year old son went to be with Jesus. I'm not seeking pity, please don't pity me or my family. Compassion is welcome. We need God's Love, Grace & Mercy. I am just trying to walk this all out and make my way through this confusion.

I hope somehow others will be blessed in the process. Use me God. I want to be real, so sometimes things I post may be sad or dark. I'm sometimes bouncing all over the place looking for His hand and His truth, trying to work through the pain and walk through the rest of life.

I know that He is Why. I do not know all of the answers. And I realize that I will not understand everything on this side of eternity... but until then... one thing that I have had to come to terms with about myself, is that I have an inner compulsion to pursue God, His heart, and what He is saying.

...that statement can sound so Christian-like or "religious" or "noble" and may come across as if I'm bragging, but with every strength there is weakness, and every weakness, there is strength... I find it very difficult sometimes to care about many things in the natural.

I suppose this whole post really is for myself and to give me something to come back to should I lose my way.